These Annoyances Will Be The Death Of Me.

It's time to move on, get our own place, have a life of our own that isn't minute-controlled by his damn Dad. I'm an adult and would like to live in a house where I am the adult, the one that makes the rules in her own house. That one that decides which shelf the glasses go on, which shelf the coffee mugs go on, how many condiments should be allowed on the fridge shelf, the one that decides that dinner leftovers get COVERED and put away so they don't spoil. The one that decides to keep things in their place, instead of all over the damn house.
He leaves this house in complete disarray, as though he maybe enjoys living that way, but god forbid I dont keep it clean and follow behind him cleaning up after his slobbish ass, then I get a new one ripped into me.

Anyone out there have a husband that constantly leaves the toothpaste tube open on the counter? Or maybe doesn't rinse the sink after he shaves?
It's annoying right?
And after enough time of nagging about it, maybe he only forgets to do it sometimes...
Well, my annoyance is like the uncapped toothpaste, only its not toothpaste. It's mouthwash, shaving cream, combs, denture tabs, heat rub, hand lotion, pill containers, frying pans, open milk jugs, juice containers, coffee maker, coffee filters, coffee cans, dirty clothes stuck in the couch, grease stained towels left on the floor, flooded sinks and countertops, unflushed toilets, dinner left to spoil on the table, cheese left opened overnight on the counter, condiments moved from the door to the inside shelf, open bread bags, coffee mugs and drinking glasses all shoved onto the same shelf in the cupboard, teaspoons and tablespoons and forks all shoved into the same slot in the utensil holder, eating off paper plates everyday because he is convinced that it causes less dishes to be washed (even though its only 3 extra items per meal and he isn't the one that has to do the damn dishes anyways!).
And sadly, that's not even all of it.

So yesterday, I finally had enough of waking up to the house in unnecessary shambles, and after the 1,684th time of asking him, reminding him and telling him how much I hate waking up to this shit, I'd finally had enough.
So my morning went a little like this, as it does every single morning.
I woke up, went into the washroom to pee, and I found the mouthwash left open on the counter, the comb in the sink, a dirty razor and open can of shaving cream on the counter, open denture tab packages, his denture cup filled with crud, the garbage can pulled out inexplicably to the middle of the bathroom floor, a toilet paper roll sitting ON TOP of the toilet paper holder, and an open bottle of shampoo lying on it's side, leaking all over the bottom of the tub.
I opened the drawer, put away the comb and the razor, threw away the denture tab packages, opened the medicine cabinet and replaced the cap on the shaving cream and put it away, I put the mouthwash back under the sink, put the toilet paper on the holder, emptied the crud from his denture cup, pushed the garbage can back to the corner, and capped the shampoo and placed it back on the shelf and rinsed the puddle of spilled shampoo from the bottom of the tub so the old man doesn't get in and break a fucking hip (god forbid).
Then I went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I pushed the coffee maker back to the corner from it's precarious placement near the edge of the counter, put the coffee can back in the cupboard, put the filters back on the shelf, closed the sugar container, put the milk, cheese and sliced veggies back in the fridge, cleared the breakfast dishes from the table and put them in the sink, and scraped off the dried egg yolk and whatever the hell that other crusty shit was on the table. Then, I go to make myself a coffee. I have to then dig to the back of the shelf, past the drinking glasses to find a mug, so I wind up rearranging the shelves AGAIN, so that the mugs have their shelf, and the glasses have theirs. Then, I fill my coffee cup, and have to dig to the bottom of the utensil drawer to rearrange it back to function, just to find a teaspoon because all utensils are thrown together. Then, I go to find my coffee cream in the front corner of the top condiment shelf  in the fridge door, but its not there, where it's supposed to be, so I spend the next 3 minutes searching through the main top shelf in the fridge, shoved way to the back. That sure is a whole lot of work, just to make it to the have-a-coffee-and-sit-down phase of my morning. And it's a daily thing.

Then I sit down on the couch in the livingroom. I am overwhelmed by this disgusting smell and have to dig to the bottom of the couch cushions to find the old man's dirty BO drenched shirt from yesterday (he doesn't wear deodorant), as well as his feet stank smelling socks. I get up, and throw them in the washing machine. I sit back down and try to put my coffee cup on the coffee table, but its so filled with clutter that there's no room.

We keep theses two decorative, organizing baskets, under the coffee table for such clutter.
So I pull them out and start to refill them. Heat rub ointment, wonder oil spray bottle, hand lotion, pill bottles, deck of cards, nail clippers, etc etc... Then, into the garbage (which we also keep a small can of UNDER the coffee table so he has no excuse not to use it), I empty his ashtray, put his two empty packs of smokes, cellophane and tin foil from his new pack of smokes, 3 paper plates, two handfuls of dirty tissues from blowing his nose, empty wrappers from the sugary snacks he ate last night and whatever else he managed to barf all over the table with his slobbiness.
THEN..... I grab 3 empty coffee mugs, two drinking glasses, 2 empty cans of pop, 4 forks, 2 spoons.... and a partridge in a pear tree, and bring them to the kitchen.
Phew! now I can finally have my coffee in a decent tidy livingroom! Wait, my coffee is cold now, better go nuke it for 40 seconds.... Open the microwave to find pasta spatter crusted all over the inside, and a bowl of pasta that he must've planned to nuke and eat for a snack the night before. YAY!

Then I get a fantastic idea (or so it seemed at the time)...

I grabbed the coffeemaker and placed it at the edge of the counter, the coffee can and filters also went back on the counter. I opened the sugar container and stuck a spoon in it. I opened the utensil drawer and shoved my hand in and violently shook it all up (note to self: remember steak knives, filet knives and corkscrews are very sharp and never to do that again. lol), I then left the drawer wide open, I opened the cupboards and brought all the mugs and glasses onto the counter below, I left the cupboard open. I went into the fridge and moved EVERYTHING from the condiment shelf in the door, onto the big shelf in the main part of the fridge, I grabbed the dirty frying pan and spatula and a bunch of dirty dishes from the sink and put them back on the kitchen table. I went to the livingroom and pulled out every last thing from under the coffee table and put it on top. I grabbed a pile of dirty laundry from the basket and started shoving them in every single crack of the couch. I went to the bathroom and threw the razor, comb and denture cup in the sink, I opened the mouthwash bottle and spilled some on the counter (right at the edge where if you lean forward against the counter, you'll get a wet spot on your crotch as I do every morning), I opened the shaving cream, and sprayed some on the sink, I pulled the garbage can out and placed it beside the bathtub, I grabbed the shampoo bottles and put them on the back of the toilet, I took out 3 new rolls of toilet paper and left them on the counter, then I took all the clean towels out of the bathroom.

The old man came in and saw the state of the house while I was making food for David before he got home for lunch. He simply said, "What's going on here?"
To which I replied, "Oh, I just thought you liked living like this with everything out of place, because everytime I put things back in their place, you just pull them all out again right away. If you don't like the coffee can and filters in the cupboard, then I guess their new place is always on the counter. And since you like all the condiments taking up the big shelf in the fridge, I hope you find a way to fit a pot of leftovers into the door shelf, cause there's no room anywhere else for it to go. But it's not like that will matter much, cause you don't like to put leftovers in the fridge, apparently their place is at room temperature to spoil on the table with the milk and cheese, and since it's too much hassle for you to reach under the coffee table to put things back in the baskets, I thought it might just be easier for you if everything was always kept on top in plain view. and since it doesn't seem to bother you that the bathroom is always upside down, I thought I'd do you the favour of leaving it that way. *Cue the SUPER sarcastic tone*
Really, I was doing all of this to make YOUR life easier, but luckily for me, without having to always run around behind you putting everything back in its place, I have thereby made MY life that much easier. It's just too bad that the house has to look like a pig pen in order to achieve that. I really think I managed to keep a nice house before.... I hope no one comes in here and judges us by the look of the place and thinks we're disgusting slobs."

****************************Silence****************************

He stormed out, and said he was going to buy cigarettes.

The house stayed like that for the rest of the night. He didn't put one damn thing away.

Sadly, it wasnt til David came home, that the stuff got put away.

Now, I wake up this morning... The coffee maker is out, the coffee can, the filter, the breakfast dishes, the mouthwash, the razors...OMFG I GIVE UP.

The point is, he isn't senile, he doesn't have dementia/alzheimers. He is a lazy, stubborn old man, that believes that women are only here to serve, cook, clean and slave after a man that won't do anything for himself. and that, as his pseudo daughter-in-law, it is MY DUTY to clean up after him, no questions asked.

Where's the delorean?! It must be around here somewhere... because the only explanation is that I mustve figured out how to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity needed to somehow power the flux capacitor and 88 mile'd my ass back in to the colonial time with Doc and Marty.

I CAN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!!! I've tried to explain to David, that his father and I just aren't the type of people that can live together, but he is all the while convinced that we could make it work if we wanted to. Here's the thing.... I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!!!
I've tried it repeatedly for the last few months, I've dealt with unimaginable stress, crying every night, losing my temper every day, suffering a miscarriage at the hands of that ruthless old man.
I just don't have it in me to waste my life being treated like this.
But David is bound my religious obligation and loyalty to his father, and would be disowned if he were to leave as it would be seen as abandonment. I don't get it, meeting a girl, settling down, getting married, having a family... thats considered abandoning your parents?!

I guess everyone else is doing it wrong... and they're the only ones doing it right.
So much for "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you".

I'm at my wits end.