It was maybe too much to expect that the last 2 days of not wanting to rip my hair out because of my frustrations with the old man would last any longer than that.
Now, don't get me wrong... He still said and did irritating things that were completely uncalled for, but at least I was doing things that made me happy enough to try to overlook the controlling old colony tendencies he peppers me with everyday. David was so happy that I was smiling and joking all day for the last couple days.
So, as I had said in my last post, the old man had finally decided to dig me the garden I've been asking for since last year. That was the day after a huge fight so I took it as his way of trying to smooth things over without actually having to apologize. I figured it was fine.
So we go shopping for some plants and seeds to plant this garden of mine, and we're miraculously getting along. Then we get home and it starts to rain 2 minutes before we pull into the driveway with our greenery... we shared a good laugh about that. The next morning however, I woke up to his tyrannic control of "move it! move it! move it! You wanted this damn garden, let's plant this damn garden!"
I had bought two grape vines. I had planned to plant them in an optimal spot, buy a large trellis to have them climb, and care for them just so. Apparently, the old man had something else entirely in mind.
I went outside to dig a couple holes for the plants and he instructed me to dig six holes. Two of them were to be about 2ft deep (for the vines), 2 were to be about 3 ft deep (the the massive 4x4 posts he wanted to install) and another 2 holes about 3 feet deep (for the brand new cedars that he had yet to purchase but was making me work for anyways).
Then, I lugged about 200lbs of soil from the clear other side of our property, pail by pail, step by painstaking step, while he watched. I then had to go fetch the 4x4 posts from the gate by climbing over two barrels and under a rotten old canoe... and then had to find a way out of there with the posts! Then I had to lug them back to the other end of the yard. Then I had to go fetch some chicken wire from the coop so we (or rather, I) could build a legit vine fence for the grapes. THEN.... I had to go to town and get the two trees. Then I planted them. Then I laid the fabric underlay shit to keep weeds away. Then pail by pail, I had to go fetch rocks to cover it with. All the while taking very specific orders on how to complete it all, ie: "No No No! Left! Ugh, you're doing it wrong!" After all is said and done regarding the grape vines, it turned into a full out landscaping job. And all he did was watch and bark orders. Bear in mind that while doing this landscaping project, I still managed to clean the house, do 3 loads of dishes, 4 loads of laundry and make lunch and cook dinner...
This garden was supposed to be a fun hobby for me. He has sucked all the fun right out of it. I don't even want anything to do with it anymore.
...So when we had first gone shopping for the plants, they had told us that they were expecting a new shipment of peppers on Friday. We went yesterday to go pick up these plants and round out the selection for our garden. I also bought some flowers for the bed around the tree in our front yard that I had been looking forward to decorating. Our trip to the nursery turned into me trying to carry 10 plants for him without being allowed to go get a cart, and when it was my turn to shop for the flowers, he stayed as far away as he could. I only bought whatever I could carry by myself (only 4 flowers instead of the 8 that I had wanted), since he doesn't believe in helping me the way I helped him.
I get home, so anxious to plant my flowers since we had decided that we weren't going to plant the garden til the next day on account of the rain that we were expecting.
I get just about finished the 1st hole and he yells at me to get a move on with "my damn garden"!
So much for my flowers.
The planting was brutal, and no fun at all but I just wanted it to be done and over with. So I muddle through it, gritting my teeth. Garden is finally planted.
Then David calls, and he needs us to bring him a lunch cause he forgot his. I have no problem making my man a lunch. but apparently his Dad expected me to serve his food first before making some for David, cause I heard about it immediately after. Then we get back from dropping his lunch at the farm, and instead of eating the lunch that I had left there for the old man, he decides to go take a nap. David phone a bit later and tell me that he might be stuck working late if the rain never hits, and that I might need to make him some dinner to bring by the farm for him. I had not really planned on being the one to cook the 8th meal in a row this week, so since I didn't have anything on the go for dinner, I made him the leftovers from lunch.
I go wake the old man up to bring the food to David and the first thing I hear is, "Where's my dinner??"
I tell ya, I only have enough energy to take care of one husband!
I managed to feed that husband, my feeding should be done for the day.
Nope, I have another grown man that expects to be taken care of like a husband.
It's my JOB as a woman to feed him, clean up after him (which is a full time job in itself) and basically do everything for him that doesn't include wiping his ass or bathing him (yet).
Enough is enough. I need to have a normal life with my spouse, in a house that I can have some control in!
If I clean the house from top to bottom, and David is at work, I should be able to rest easy, knowing that it will stay that way til he gets home. We don't have any kids yet, so there's no reason I can't enjoy that part of my life while I can.
If I buy myself a treat, like a cupcake, or a special soup or something that I am really looking forward to having... I shouldn't have to worry that by the time I wake up in the morning, it has been already eaten. If I pour myself a glass of wine, and leave it on the table to excuse myself to the ladies room for juuuuuust a minute, I shouldn't have to worry about coming back to find my glass empty. If I decide I wanna take up gardening as a hobby, I shouldn't have to put up with being bossed around like I'm at work. If I decide that I wanna listen to music while I clean, I shouldn't have to worry about someone coming into the house and telling me to turn it off. If I decide that I want a window blind on our front door, I shouldn't have to ask permission (and be denied permission) to put one up. If I decide I'm sick of cooking for the week and just wanna throw a freezer pizza in the oven, I should be allowed to do that without being told that "real women make dinner 3 courses and from scratch". If I decide that I am sick of doing the dishes 3 times a day everyday for 2 weeks, and let David do ONE load, I shouldn't have to worry about his Dad butting in and saying "David! What are you doing those dishes for? Maureen is here, let her do them." I shouldn't have to worry that when I take my vitamins in the morning, I'm gonna be judged on how I shouldn't be taking vitamins cause its not natural and its gonna kill me faster than smoking 2 packs of smokes a day.
Ok. I have a thousand more examples, but I'm tired of typing, and the old man just bellowed my name. Better go take a crazy pill and start chomping on my tongue... Wish me luck.
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